Hard Truths about your Old Friends 

RE BUZZ

The first step is complete. You have chosen to get help for your addiction and the recovery process has started. It’s common to think back to your old life and friends during recovery. You may reminisce about some of the great times you had together and even look forward to seeing them after your recovery program has ended. However, the problem with your “old friends” is that they may not be a good influence on you and could even lead to relapse. Accepting the hard truths when it comes to your previous social life may help you stay sober for the long term.

Hard Truth #1- You shouldn’t hang out with them

The truth is that some of your old pals won’t be ready to give up addiction like you are. It’s extremely unlikely that you will hear them admit that or the fact that they are a bad influence on you that could lead to your own relapse. If you continue hanging out with them you are going to put yourself directly in the path of temptation and your sobriety is too important to let this situation ruin it.

Hard Truth #2- Your life was a mess when you were using drugs

Your “old” friends aren’t going to tell you about how horrible your life was when you were using because they are still trapped in that world. While you chose to overcome addiction and better your life because you knew it was problem, they just aren’t there. Many of those friends will try to tell you stories of the “good old days” when you were using and the amazing times you had with them. The stories could make you want to use, and again, your sobriety is too important.

Hard Truth #3- Your friends stole from you

Now, while this can’t be said of every “old” friend you may have had, many of them would be guilty of this. If you roomed with another addict or even dated another addict, chances are they stole money from you when they needed a fix. If you look back and remember what it was like to “jones” for more drugs, you can probably also remember how tempting it was to steal items of value or money from anyone around in order to pay for more drugs.

Hard Truth #4- Your friends lied to you about their lives

When you were addicted and you had to talk about your current situation to family or friends that didn’t know about your addiction, you lied. Your friends that are still using are still lying. It’s possible that they will say things like, “It’s not that bad,” “I can quit anytime,” or “My life is great. I’m so happy.” You know from experience that it is that bad, that if they wanted to quit they would, and most likely they are miserable. Sobriety is a long, complicated road with twists, turns, and bumps. Accepting the hard truths about your friends is a part of that journey. You have chosen to get clean and change your life, so don’t let the pressure you may feel from those still using deter you from your path. You can overcome addiction, one step at a time.

SOURCE

Christian PTSD Treatment

Christian PTSD Treatment 

When our War Heroes come home from service, to our country, often times the transition can be very difficult for them. The comradery and support from friends that have been through the same experiences soon dissipates as they transition back to civilian life. Many of our patriots are left feeling the sense of abandonment when dealing with PTSD. This disorder in not to be taken lightly and needs to be addressed so we can help our vets return to us whole.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not limited to our military personnel but the general public also, not as wide spread, but equally important.  

Having PTSD can trigger other behavioral problems including, but not limited to depression, addiction to drugs or alcohol, panic disorders, and anxiety. The treatment that we have listed below can help deal with all the related conditions as well as the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For best treatment results all the problems associated with PTSD, treatment should be handled at the same time to help speed up the recovery process.

Understanding PTSD Treatment

There have been some advances in the treatment for PTSD. When a person has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, trying to deal with the past can be very difficult. When trying to cope with these issues, some people keep their feelings suppressed, instead of telling others how they feel. Talking with a therapist can help with this condition. 

CBT is one of the types of counseling and therapy that centers use for treating PTSD. Research has proven that this is the most effective treatment and counseling for PTSD. The VA is now offering a few different treatment for this disorder, CPT – cognitive process therapy, PE therapy – Prolonged exposure therapy. Medications and EMRD ( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) have been shown to be effective in the treatment for PTSD along with serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI), also used in the treatment for depression.

PTSD therapy: How long does it last?

PTSD treatment in most facilities last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. Other treatment types have a longer treatment periods, up to 2 years.

What will be worked on while in Therapy?

While in treatment, you and the therapist will discuss options as to the type of treatment that is available to you and what your goals are that you hope to reach.

Reducing your symptoms

Learning how to cope with these symptoms, teaching you how to feel less guilt or sadness associated with PTSD, improving relationships at work and at home is a key to success. Not everyone that has PTSD has the same goals that they want to achieve and some may take longer than others. There is no treatment plan that works for everyone, so it is important to lay out the plan so your individualized program can cover all your concerns. Your therapist will help you decide what goals are most important to you and work on these first.

What can I expect from my therapist or counselor?

When sitting down with a therapist, they should discuss the different types of treatment available to you and work out a plan, that you both agree on. This is the best course of action to take to achieve the goals you have set for treatment. You should also come to an agreement as to what to do if the treatment does not seem to be working: an alternate plan for treatment. 

Make sure that you are comfortable with your therapist as you will be working as a team to help with your problems. It is difficult for most people to talk about painful situations, traumatic experiences, that you have had. This is why we stress the importance of feeling comfortable with your therapist, because you will be talking to them about, often times, painful or traumatic experiences that you have seen or been through in your life. During therapy, feelings can emerge and often times be very extreme, and challenging.

If you do not have a connection with your therapist or feel that they are not helping, talk to another therapist to see if changing your counselor or seeking another option for treatment is the right choice. You should always let your therapist know when you are seeking a second opinion. 

Other types of treatment may include but not limited to:

Group therapy

 We talk and share with people that have very similar experiences and trauma’s. Sharing your experiences with others may make you feel that you are not alone in this fight against PTSD. Some people feel more comfortable sharing their stories only with people that have been through similar experiences. You will learn to deal with your emotions such as anger, guilt, rage, and shame. Learning to put the past behind us so that we can work on the present and the future is the key.

Psycho-dynamic Therapy

This is a type of therapy that teaches us how to deal with emotional conflicts caused by trauma. This therapy helps in the understanding of past events and how we react to those events.

Your counselor will help you:

Locate and identify what triggers the memories and other symptoms 

Raise your self esteem 

Find ways and activities to help with the coping of these intense feelings and emotions.

Become more aware of thought and feelings, so you can change reactions to these thoughts.

What is EDMR?

EDMR is a fairly new treatment for PTSD and there have been discussions and disagreements as to the effectiveness of such treatment. 

While thinking of talking about stressful memories, the therapist helps you focus on other stimuli, hand taps, eye movements, and sounds. They take your focus off of the event by distracting and having you follow hand movements or listen to random sounds. In treatment as the individual attention is taken off of the event on on to other stimulus, has shown promise in helping to change reactions to such memories. 

We now understand that Chemicals in your brain affect the way we feel. When you feel depressed this can be linked to a lack of serotonin in your brain, SSRI’s include Paroxetine (paxil), Sertaline (zoloft) Citalopram (Celexia). There are other drugs that have been know to help with this condition. Please talk to your doctor to discuss medications in the treatment for PTSD.

PTSD can effect your family and friends. When the feeling that no one can possible understand why you get angry, depressed, it can appear that you are under so much stress. Family can often feel scared, withdrawn, and often times guilty due to them not understanding the condition.

A key component of therapy includes family sessions, either through conference calling or at the center. While in family sessions, it is very important to be honest about your feelings and concerns and listen to others. Talking about PTSD symptoms and triggers can help the family or friends understand what brings the condition to the surface.

Intervention

Intervention 

What pressures does the addict feel now?

 The addict doesn’t necessarily have the same reality about their addiction that non-addicts might. For instance, he/she may have semi serious health problems/no friends and no job or income but feel like they are “doing ok”. Many addicts have actually overdosed on drugs coming very close to death and are right back using drugs the very next day. This may appear crazy, but in fact this is only part of the pain for the addict. With this in mind, the addict from time to time will encounter added pressure, which forces them to make an actual decision about whether to seek help or continue to use. Pending legal charges that could easily lead to jail time, threat of losing spouse, pending loss of job, all are possible situations where a person has enough pressure to fight the addiction and seek help. Although any one in particular may not work in your situation, there are pressures that can come to bear which will help prod the addict into a decision to seek help. It is easy to assume the addict is “only seeking help to avoid jail” or some other evaluation which in many cases is true. The fact remains that an addict will only seek help when some one or some thing pushes him out of his “ addiction comfort zone” and forces him into a decision. Very few addicts with access to money, a place to live, people who agree with his usage and no legal issues seek help. They “don’t have a problem”. This is very important to understand and will be crucial in any attempt at
intervention

What is the ruin of the addict ?

 The addict has things in his/her past or present that seems like a devastating event and which has something to do with drugs. One example is a person that has lost his best friends due to his addiction. Another example is a person losing his wife and child over drug abuse. A family member can look at an addict’s life and see hundreds of reasons he/she should quit using but unfortunately these reasons are not REAL to the addict. There are, however, problems the addict encounters that are real or significant in the addicts life, which he/she sees as a reason to quit using drugs. These are important to identify because they can be used during the intervention to
remind the addict why he/she must seek help.

Who should be there?

 One of the major considerations involving intervention is selecting who will be there. This matter should be well thought out before hand. The number of people there is less important than who is there. If at all possible, the person in the family whom the addict respects the most should be there. This person is an opinion leader to the addict and needs to be there fully supportive of getting the person help and informed
well about the actual agenda. As many family members as possible should be there as long as each and every one are completely in agreement about the fact that the person needs help and supportive of the general agenda. If someone in the family is antagonistic against the addict and is not capable of restraining themselves from arguments and blame then you might consider leaving them out. Usually, the addict has many enemies and has done wrong to most of the family but arguments and in turbulation will not benefit the cause of getting the addict to seek treatment and in fact will usually result in stopping this from happening because the focus of attention gets placed on the argument and not on the matters at hand. Many people hire professional intervention counselors to run the intervention. This is advisable in many situations but not a necessity in most. This depends largely on individual circumstances. For instance, does the person have pending legal issues, external pressures etc. or does the person deny completely any drug usage. These type factors need to be considered intensely before bringing in an outside person. You may want to seek help in establishing who should be present at the intervention because it is a crucial factor

When is the appropriate time?

 When does the intervention take place? Ideally, this has less to do with the family schedule and more to do with what’s going on in the addict’s life. The optimum time for an intervention is just after a major event. Such an event would be if they arrested, or when he/she has wronged (lied, stolen, cheated etc.) a family member and shows remorse or guilt. Another would be spouse leaving. Yet another would be after an overdose. Although you obviously don’t want to risk the addict’s life by postponing forever, an intervention will be exponentially more effective after such events when the addict is down and feels like his/her world is coming to an end. Even in the absence of these situations, an intervention can be successful especially if the family is close to the addict daily so that every little situation is known. An addict’s life is a major roller coaster and the only way an addict can deny their problem is to successfully hide these problems from those who love him. A major consideration should be when the addict is sober. In the case of cocaine, meth- amphetamine etc. this should be in the morning after the addict has slept. In the case of heroin or methadone or opiate type drugs, it will be when they are withdrawing and not high. In either case attempting an intervention while a person is extremely high will usually not be productive because the addict can not see many of their problems and their attention will fixed elsewhere. In general, the timing of the intervention is crucial and needs planning but
at the same time an addict’s life is very unstable so opportunities present themselves reasonably frequently

What is the general language or message ?

 The tone should be concern. The intention should be clear. It should be unwavering. “ We love you, we’ve always loved you, we’ll never stop loving you but we’re not willing to watch you kill yourself with drugs”. The family should definitely express concern but not sympathize with the addict. Sympathy is a form of agreement and can back fire by justifying the addiction. Without any anger or fear, the addict should “get” from every one present that the situation is known and that he/she needs treatment. Don’t allow stories of family problems and life’s troubles sway the attention off the point that the addict has a problem and needs to seek help fixing it. This  is where the family’s preparation pays off.

What is Plan B ?

 An intervention with proper planning and carried out correctly will result many times in an addict agreeing to receive help. But you must accept the fact that ultimately the addict may for whatever reason say “NO”. This scenario needs to be thought out in advance so that the family consistently moves to the proverbial –plan B. If for what ever reason the intervention fails, the addict is still an addict and statistically the situation will likely get worse not better, so what is the action taken by the family at this point? The family knows the
person is addicted and the addict has been confronted with this fact so whatever message the family gives the addict at this point is critical. By refusing to seek treatment the addict in general is saying to the family “ I want to continue to use drugs. I want to continue the families suffering. I want to control my own life. ”The family will in turn answer with every word and action taken. If the
family says " I understand. Please leave and don't expect any money or support in any way unless you decide to get help." then the addict is left to run his/her life which they generally do not have the ability to do, and before long you have a person who "DECIDES" that treatment is the best thing and calls saying just that. If on the other hand the family sort of acts disappointed and carries on as usual, then the addict gets the message that it is OK to continue this life style and will put up even more resistance to intervention in the future having bested the intervention team previously. Obviously, there are certain risks involved with either approach and should be evaluated clearly before hand. One thing is certain, as long as the addict continues to use, they risk the only one thing they have; their life. The bottom line is that an addict needs to decide, for whatever reason, that they need help. Most " locked down " approaches fail because the addict is
not part of the recovery. The only way an addict can usually fight against the addiction is when enough external pressure is applied to cause them to decide to quit. Many call this "the bottom". However, there can be many bottoms. Obviously some are lower than others, but each can make a person quit drugs. It just depends on what happens when the person is there. For instance a person is facing serious charges and is very scared. The person will either have an intervention and go to treatment or will get through this situation and be back out using. In the final analysis, it is often the family who both spots the incident and uses it to achieve treatment, or misses and waits.
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Private Drug Treatment

Private Drug Treatment programs can be expensive, but you will receive the highest quality care and private rooms, at some of the facilities, while receiving treatment for drug or alcohol addiction.

Private recovery centers have a lower staff to patient ratio allowing more one on one treatment to be administered while enrolled in a private treatment program. Having to operate for profit, unlike state run facilities, this makes them accountable to deliver the best results possible. finding a private recovery program in your state or region that fits your needs can be difficult though so it may be necessary to seek private treatment outside of your area. If you are in need of treatment or looking for a private treatment program for a loved one give us a call and we can refer you to the best drug or alcohol treatment program and get you the help you need.

For those struggling with either addiction to alcohol or other drugs there are great private drug rehab center options throughout  the country. Private drug rehabs can be expensive, but you will receive the highest quality care and private rooms at some of the facilities while receiving treatment for drug or alcohol addiction.

Regardless of your financial or social status addiction and the temptation to abuse drugs or alcohol does not discriminate. Once a person gets addicted to drugs or alcohol, there is almost always depression that soon follows addiction and the need for treatment becomes a necessity. While in Treatment at an inpatient private rehab center the client receives scheduled focused treatment plans in an environment that is conducive to the healing process. Private room rehab centers allow for reflection after therapy without the distractions of a roommate. Making the right choice, requires educating yourself, as to which private treatment program is right for you or a loved one.

Choosing treatment options Inpatient treatment vs. outpatient treatment.
If you are looking for treatment for yourself or maybe someone that is close to you having all the facts concerning the addiction can help us determine if there is even a need for inpatient treatment at a private drug treatment program. Residential drug rehab facilities are more expensive and have a minimum time requirement for receiving treatment.

If any or all of these apply to the individual, you should look into private rehab treatments

Long history of drug or alcohol abuse

Failed attempts at inpatient treatment or outpatient treatment

No family or friend support close to the person needing help

Underlying psychiatric condition ( depression, personality disorders, anxiety issues)
need for confidentiality

How do I find an effective residential treatment program that specifically addresses my addiction?


     When evaluating treatment centers it is important to make sure that your addiction can be handled at the facility that you choose. Different drugs can require different treatment models as well as detoxification to make the treatment effective.



                   Call Now, Our counselors are here to help you

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 What can be Treated


Inpatient treatment programs set their treatment focus on the two main aspects of treatment:

 Alcohol or drug abuse and behavioral conditions. These two main areas of concern can often times be the reason for the other condition. The first step in the treatment process is detox- Private detox centers help the person by first limiting access to the substance of abuse, often times this can be done without medications and letting the body rid itself of the harmful substance. Medications may be necessary depending on several factors and will be administered to the client in strict scheduled intervals due to the fact that some withdrawal medications can be habit forming. Some drugs like Heroin or opiate based drugs will usually require a full medication assisted detox protocol.


The length of treatment at an Inpatient treatment program


The stay necessary for treatment at a private room rehab program can vary from treatment program to treatment program. Program length is usually  in 30-90 day intervals, with some programs lasting as long as a year. 30 day treatment programs are typically for people seeking treatment that have had no prior attempts or underlying psychiatric conditions.


Traveling for treatment or staying close to home


In some cases traveling for treatment can be a good choice and in other cases it may be a hindrance to the recovery process. Traveling for treatment can be helpful to those seeking complete confidentiality, or just need to get away from the area that they were using in. For those that need an intervention to get them to agree to enter treatment, getting them a plane flight away removes the temptation to check themselves out of treatment before the program is completed.


Paying for a private room treatment program


A obstacle for some people wanting a private room while undergoing treatment for addiction to drugs or alcohol is paying for the treatment . Often times treatment can cost thousands of dollars. Some treatment programs do offer financing options or Insurance may cover most, if not all of the costs associated with treatment at a private facility.


Benefits of receiving private treatment over state funded type treatment centers.


Less conflict and disruptions. A private bed treatment center reserves the right to set their own rules as to the handling of disruptive clients that become hostile towards staff or other patients before there is an incident. A private center has the right to refuse service to patients if it is in the best interest of the center to maintain a high level of respect and peace for those that are dedicated and focused on their own recovery.

    The contact form  is provided free of charge along with our services to help you better understand the options that inpatient treatment centers offer.


Are residential treatment centers confidential?

We have found that some treatment centers are better at confidentiality than others. There are treatment centers that hide their true identity as resorts and vacation rentals to help people that need anonymity. People that need this level of privacy might want to look into these types of programs so no one finds out that they are looking for treatment to handle their drug or alcohol addiction.
Give us a call If you need to locate a private inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center Free of charge
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Drug addiction signs

Drug addiction signs

• Increase or decrease in appetite; changes in eating habits, unexplained weight loss or gain.
•   Smell of substance on breath, body or clothes.
•   Extreme hyperactivity; excessive talkativeness.
•  Needle marks or bruises on lower arm, legs or bottom of feet.
•   Change in overall attitude / personality with no other identifiable cause.
•   Changes in friends: new hang-outs, avoidance of old crowd, new friends are drug users.
•   Change in activities; loss of interest in things that were important before.
•   Drop in school or work performance; skips or is late to school or work.
•   Changes in habits at home; loss of interest in family and family activities.
•   Difficulty in paying attention; forgetfulness.
•   Lack of motivation, energy, self-esteem, discipline. Bored, "I don't care" attitude.
•   Defensiveness, temper tantrums, resentful behavior (everything's a hassle).
•   Unexplained moodiness, irritability, or nervousness.
•   Violent temper or bizarre behavior.
•  Unexplained silliness or giddiness.
•   Paranoia -- suspiciousness.
•   Excessive need for privacy; keeps door locked or closed, won't let people in.
•   Secretive or suspicious behavior.
•   Car accidents, fender benders, household accidents.
•   Chronic dishonesty; trouble with police.
•   Unexplained need for money; can't explain where money goes; stealing.
•   Unusual effort to cover arms, legs.
•   Change in personal grooming habits. 
•   Possession of drug paraphernalia.

Free "Am I an Addict?" Questionnaire. HERE

If you or someone you love has an issue with drugs or alcoholism and needs help, call us at 1-800-513-5423 today and we can help. 

Handling a loved one with Addiction Problems part 2

Continued From – How To Handle a Loved One With An Addiction - Part 1

How To Handle A Loved One With An Addiction – Part 2

DRUGREHABADDICTION, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF ADDICTS

No one is born with a set of instructions on how to handle an addict. My perspective on what tends to work and what doesn’t, or perhaps better said, what can be helpful and what definitely is not, is born of my own experience as an addict. When I was ready to recover, and when I wanted it because it was what I knew I needed, it mattered little what people had said or hadn’t said. Nonetheless, looking back, I can see that some approaches were helpful while others resulted only in resentments I had to later work through in recovery.

What Is Helpful When Dealing With An Addict

By labeling these ideas “helpful,” I do not mean to imply that they will achieve the desired result of getting the addict to get clean. It is rather to say that these approaches are less likely to do harm and are more likely to help maintain a relationship of trust between you and the addict. In the end, the addict has to choose recovery because she wants it—not because you do.

Give Space

Addicts are already isolators, so it may appear that all they want is more and more space and time to be alone and practice their addiction. By giving space, I mean to say, emotional space. Keep the addict near and continue to engage to the degree that she is able or willing. But refrain from making every conversation or occasion together about the disease. The addict already feels the all-pervasiveness of it. You don’t need to keep bringing it up or checking in.

Share The Struggle

Many families of addicts make the mistake of keeping the issue a secret. This failure to reach out is generally based in the fear of the stigma attached to addiction and mental illness. But you need support and help in what may be a very long battle. Start by speaking with a pastor at your church or with trusted family friends. You do not need to be ashamed, this is no one’s fault. Addiction is painfully isolating not only for the addict but for the family who has to live and deal with the secret problem as well. Humble yourself to bring others in for support.

Get Help For You

Addiction touches and traumatizes the lives of everyone in its midst. Family members and even friends can benefit from counseling or a series of Al-Anon meetings. Become educated about the disease and learn what you can and cannot realistically expect from an addict. Learn to recognize patterns of manipulation and become aware of your own potential tendencies for co-dependency and enabling. Find out how to set proper boundaries around a person with addiction and get the support you need in sticking to them. Programs like Al-Anon are miraculous in helping those who live with addicts to understand what their role is in dealing with an addict.

While I was blessed with recovery from my anorexia, I watched another young girl lose her life to it at the age of 24. If the addict you love does not find recovery, you must not blame yourself. You cannot save someone who will not be saved. By the same token, you cannot, even by poorly chosen words and unthinking behavior, stop someone from seeking recovery and getting well if that is what they have decided to do.

If you or a loved one is seeking help for 

addiction, give us a call at 1-800-513-5423 

Addictionnomore.com

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Handling a loved one with Addiction Problems Part 1

How To Handle A Loved One With An Addiction – Part 1

DRUGREHABADDICTION, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF ADDICTS

There is no easy way to approach, handle or talk to a loved one struggling with addiction.

If you have an addict in your life, expect it to be difficult, awkward and uncomfortable. There will be good days and bad days, there will be small successes followed by perhaps greater setbacks. You will be pushed to your emotional limit and you will be forced to face your own inability to change a person you love. You will be wholly incapable of making him see that what you want is what’s best for him.

Helping Those Dealing With Addicts

Dealing with addicts isn’t intuitive. We don’t simply discern how to get through to them or how to interact with them based on common sense or reason. While respecting addicts as people, it will help the non-addicts in their midst to understand that reason, good sense, morality and self-preservation are no longer part of a framework within which they operate or a common ground upon which to meet.

But that doesn’t mean we write addicts off as crazy and give up hope. Having been an addict myself, I had a lot of people around me trying to help or cure or fix me in different ways. From the vantage point of recovery, I can now look back and comment on what was helpful and what wasn’t. Even a decade later, I remember how the people around me treated me when I was drowning in the despair of my addiction. While nothing you say will make or break an addict’s chances of recovering, there are ways of communicating and interacting that are harmful and pain-inducing, and there are better, more helpful ways of trying to relate to a person who is indeed quite sick.

What Not To Do When Dealing With An Addict

Guilt Trips

Yes, the addict is making everyone’s life difficult and causing a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. She breaks plans, she fails to keep her commitments, she is unreliable and unpredictable. And guess what: she already knows it. Asking things like, “Do you realize what you are doing to your mother?” or, “Don’t you understand how you are hurting us?” are not helpful. The addict, though selfish in the extreme, is not oblivious to the pain, difficulty and chaos she is bringing into the lives of those around her. But she is not able to stop it. A guilt trip presupposes that the person being guilted is acting deliberately or out of malice. It assumes that he or she has some control over the offending behavior. An addict does not.

Bargaining

You’ll do anything, make any promise, as long as the addict will agree to stop the addiction and get help. But the addict is powerless to take you up on that offer. The addiction is boss. As appealing as your offer might be, it simply isn’t possible. Addicts are known for high-stakes gambling. They gamble their families, their jobs and anything good they can claim. They know what they have to lose and they do it anyway. They don’t do it because they don’t care; they do it because the illness is in fact that powerful and enslaving.

Endless Pleading And Cajoling

This is also known as nagging and it is never helpful or effective. It’s not that the addict doesn’t care, it’s that she cannot stop what she is doing on the basis of your wishes—even if she wanted to. The disease is a lot stronger than that. It’s a lot stronger than she is. In the end, the addict may tell you what you want to hear, but then go back to business as usual. She knows you think there is a problem. You don’t have to continue to restate it.

Implying Fault Or Agency

Loved ones must burn into their minds that both substance and process addictions are not choices that the addict is making. As a result, blaming addicts or implying that they are practicing their addiction simply because they are selfish and unloving is not only incorrect, but cruel. Understand that the addict is in the grip of something much bigger than him or herself. Addiction is an illness like diabetes or cancer. You may hope that addicts will take the appropriate steps to manage the condition, but it is unhelpful to imply that they do what they do on purpose.

Ignoring The Issue

If there is nothing that can be said to make an addict want to seek help, and if the nagging and the pleading are ineffective, does that mean it’s better to say nothing at all? Is it better to ignore the issue, make the best of it or hope it all just goes away? No. Something does indeed need to be said and maybe even done, but the ways in which you speak and act hold the difference between showing genuine love and support, and being a nuisance and a nag.

While your words and expressions of concern may not effect immediate change in the addict’s life, while they may not leave your chat promising to check into treatment, the addict will benefit from the knowledge that you cared enough to say something out of concern and love. Don’t pretend there isn’t a problem.

continue reading Part 2

If you or a loved one is seeking help for 

addiction, give us a call at 1-800-513-5423 

Addictionnomore.com

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