Help with holding an Intervention

Help with holding an Intervention

Drug and alcohol interventions are conducted by professionals who help you plan, train, and carry out the intervention process. Holding an intervention that is not well planned, can do more harm than good to the individual in question. If the addict feels trapped or attacked they will retreat and become more isolated and more hesitant to receiving treatment. 

Drug an alcohol addiction affects more than just the drug user. Family and friends are usually affected as well. When you are dealing with a loved one that has become addicted to drugs or alcohol, it can leave us feeling helpless and uncertain on how we could possibly help them. People that struggle with addiction can often times, be oblivious to the fact that their addiction is affecting more than themselves. Interventions can get the person struggling with addiction, to understand exactly what their addiction is doing to themselves, as well as those around them. They can sometimes be unwilling to admit that there is even a problem with addiction or be unwilling to get help for their addiction. 

Drug interventions can help someone not willing to enter treatment find the solution that they were not looking for. An intervention can help the addict change, by getting them into a treatment program before their life takes a turn for the worse. It can be a life saving event to hold an intervention for a loved one. Waiting for them to seek help on their own can have devastating consequences or even death. Drug overdose was responsible for 41,340 deaths in the US in 2011. US overdose deaths have increased for 12 successive years. In 2011, and for the fourth year in a row, the number of US citizens whose deaths were drug-related exceeded the number of fatalities in road traffic accidents (33,561). Almost five people per hour died of overdose in the US in 2011. ref from http://www.overdoseday.com/. If you or someone you love is caught in the grips of addiction give us a call and we can help you find out what options are available to you. 

What is an intervention?

Interventions for addiction, are planned and controlled attempts at getting someone to agree to enter treatment for their addiction. The planning and training for an intervention is done without the addicts knowledge to ensure that everyone if fully trained on what to expect during the intervention process. Family and friends get together with the help of an intervention specialist, to discuss with the addict how addiction has affected not only their lives but those around them. If treatment is refused after the sharing portion of the intervention, the family and friends spell out the consequences that will ensue after the intervention has completed. Drug or alcohol interventions work best if there is a professional present to help with the training and planning of the event.
The intervention process and steps of an intervention.

 

Planning the intervention is the first step. A family member or friend starts to gather family and close friends together for a group meeting. It is recommended that there is a professional present during all stages of the intervention process.  There is always a chance that there may be an angry or violent reaction from the addict. It is highly recommended to get a third party involved in the intervention. To get help finding an interventionist please give us a call we will assist you.

Be sure to have all the information as to what the person is having problems with and to what extent the addiction is perceived to be. This information should be gathered before the intervention starts. Making arrangements with a treatment center for addiction, will be needed before the intervention takes place, to ensure a seamless transition from the intervention to the treatment center. 

Decide who can and is willing to participate in, the intervention process. In most cases 4-8 people are involved; including family, friends, teachers, co-workers, clergy or anyone that is a positive influence in their lives. Be sure not to include anyone that is using drugs or can be antagonistic during the intervention process.

Each person that is involved in the intervention needs to decide what they will do if the addict refuses to get help with their addiction. The consequences for not entering treatment need to be something that can be followed through on, to make the individual in question feel the severity of not getting help. Examples of this may include withdrawing any financial support, asking them to move out, or stopping all communication from family or friends until they receive the help they need. Your drug interventionist will assist you with this very important step in the intervention process. 

Having a written plan on what you are gonna say during the intervention; specific incidents that have caused destructive behaviors or actions. Financial and emotional breakdowns are of the most common occurrences in early addictions and can grow in intensity as the addiction continues unchecked. Including how much the person means to you, will help you convey the need for them to enter into treatment. Be sure not to include antagonistic arguments, name calling, or anything that can be perceived by them to be judgmental rhetoric in your letter. 

When the day of the intervention finally arrives , The addict is invited to the intervention without their knowledge of the true reason for the meeting. The attendees take their turns going through their letters filled with concern  that they have written for the addict to hear. The option to enter treatment will be presented at this point which must be accepted or rejected at this time. Everyone must detail the consequences to the addict if treatment is refused. If treatment is accepted, having the treatment program already in place makes the transition seamless, allowing the addict to enter into a treatment program the very same day. Interventions can become very emotional and having an interventionist there will help to keep the intervention moving in the right direction as they are not emotionally involved allowing them to take the role of moderator during the whole process. If you are looking for an interventionist close to you, give us a call and we can help. 

Once the intervention is finished and the person has agreed to go to treatment for their addiction, it is important to remain supportive so the addict can stay sober and avoid relapse. While in treatment, there are opportunities for loved ones to participate in group counseling and conflict resolution. Finding a treatment center that has aftercare will help the individual remain on their program after treatment has been completed. The national institute on drug abuse has done numerous studies in both inpatient and out-patient treatment and for those who complete a program and continuous with their aftercare for a year or more have a 90% success rate.

Interventions for drug or alcohol addiction are more effective when you have a professional interventionist present. Holding an intervention alone, can go wrong in so many ways. This is why it is always recommended to get some professional help. either through a phone consultation or actually having the interventionist present at the time of the intervention. If your loved one feels backed into a corner he or she may become more apprehensive to accepting treatment in the future. It is highly recommended that you bring in a professional if your loved one has a history of mental illness, violence, in denial of their usage or likely to become angry during the intervention. Interventionists will take all the information that you have provided them and suggest the best approach to get the individual into treatment.

We are available to answer all questions 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Addiction is a serious illness and you are not alone we will help you find an interventionist or help you with information on how you can get your loved one the treatment that the need. 

Intervention

Intervention 

What pressures does the addict feel now?

 The addict doesn’t necessarily have the same reality about their addiction that non-addicts might. For instance, he/she may have semi serious health problems/no friends and no job or income but feel like they are “doing ok”. Many addicts have actually overdosed on drugs coming very close to death and are right back using drugs the very next day. This may appear crazy, but in fact this is only part of the pain for the addict. With this in mind, the addict from time to time will encounter added pressure, which forces them to make an actual decision about whether to seek help or continue to use. Pending legal charges that could easily lead to jail time, threat of losing spouse, pending loss of job, all are possible situations where a person has enough pressure to fight the addiction and seek help. Although any one in particular may not work in your situation, there are pressures that can come to bear which will help prod the addict into a decision to seek help. It is easy to assume the addict is “only seeking help to avoid jail” or some other evaluation which in many cases is true. The fact remains that an addict will only seek help when some one or some thing pushes him out of his “ addiction comfort zone” and forces him into a decision. Very few addicts with access to money, a place to live, people who agree with his usage and no legal issues seek help. They “don’t have a problem”. This is very important to understand and will be crucial in any attempt at
intervention

What is the ruin of the addict ?

 The addict has things in his/her past or present that seems like a devastating event and which has something to do with drugs. One example is a person that has lost his best friends due to his addiction. Another example is a person losing his wife and child over drug abuse. A family member can look at an addict’s life and see hundreds of reasons he/she should quit using but unfortunately these reasons are not REAL to the addict. There are, however, problems the addict encounters that are real or significant in the addicts life, which he/she sees as a reason to quit using drugs. These are important to identify because they can be used during the intervention to
remind the addict why he/she must seek help.

Who should be there?

 One of the major considerations involving intervention is selecting who will be there. This matter should be well thought out before hand. The number of people there is less important than who is there. If at all possible, the person in the family whom the addict respects the most should be there. This person is an opinion leader to the addict and needs to be there fully supportive of getting the person help and informed
well about the actual agenda. As many family members as possible should be there as long as each and every one are completely in agreement about the fact that the person needs help and supportive of the general agenda. If someone in the family is antagonistic against the addict and is not capable of restraining themselves from arguments and blame then you might consider leaving them out. Usually, the addict has many enemies and has done wrong to most of the family but arguments and in turbulation will not benefit the cause of getting the addict to seek treatment and in fact will usually result in stopping this from happening because the focus of attention gets placed on the argument and not on the matters at hand. Many people hire professional intervention counselors to run the intervention. This is advisable in many situations but not a necessity in most. This depends largely on individual circumstances. For instance, does the person have pending legal issues, external pressures etc. or does the person deny completely any drug usage. These type factors need to be considered intensely before bringing in an outside person. You may want to seek help in establishing who should be present at the intervention because it is a crucial factor

When is the appropriate time?

 When does the intervention take place? Ideally, this has less to do with the family schedule and more to do with what’s going on in the addict’s life. The optimum time for an intervention is just after a major event. Such an event would be if they arrested, or when he/she has wronged (lied, stolen, cheated etc.) a family member and shows remorse or guilt. Another would be spouse leaving. Yet another would be after an overdose. Although you obviously don’t want to risk the addict’s life by postponing forever, an intervention will be exponentially more effective after such events when the addict is down and feels like his/her world is coming to an end. Even in the absence of these situations, an intervention can be successful especially if the family is close to the addict daily so that every little situation is known. An addict’s life is a major roller coaster and the only way an addict can deny their problem is to successfully hide these problems from those who love him. A major consideration should be when the addict is sober. In the case of cocaine, meth- amphetamine etc. this should be in the morning after the addict has slept. In the case of heroin or methadone or opiate type drugs, it will be when they are withdrawing and not high. In either case attempting an intervention while a person is extremely high will usually not be productive because the addict can not see many of their problems and their attention will fixed elsewhere. In general, the timing of the intervention is crucial and needs planning but
at the same time an addict’s life is very unstable so opportunities present themselves reasonably frequently

What is the general language or message ?

 The tone should be concern. The intention should be clear. It should be unwavering. “ We love you, we’ve always loved you, we’ll never stop loving you but we’re not willing to watch you kill yourself with drugs”. The family should definitely express concern but not sympathize with the addict. Sympathy is a form of agreement and can back fire by justifying the addiction. Without any anger or fear, the addict should “get” from every one present that the situation is known and that he/she needs treatment. Don’t allow stories of family problems and life’s troubles sway the attention off the point that the addict has a problem and needs to seek help fixing it. This  is where the family’s preparation pays off.

What is Plan B ?

 An intervention with proper planning and carried out correctly will result many times in an addict agreeing to receive help. But you must accept the fact that ultimately the addict may for whatever reason say “NO”. This scenario needs to be thought out in advance so that the family consistently moves to the proverbial –plan B. If for what ever reason the intervention fails, the addict is still an addict and statistically the situation will likely get worse not better, so what is the action taken by the family at this point? The family knows the
person is addicted and the addict has been confronted with this fact so whatever message the family gives the addict at this point is critical. By refusing to seek treatment the addict in general is saying to the family “ I want to continue to use drugs. I want to continue the families suffering. I want to control my own life. ”The family will in turn answer with every word and action taken. If the
family says " I understand. Please leave and don't expect any money or support in any way unless you decide to get help." then the addict is left to run his/her life which they generally do not have the ability to do, and before long you have a person who "DECIDES" that treatment is the best thing and calls saying just that. If on the other hand the family sort of acts disappointed and carries on as usual, then the addict gets the message that it is OK to continue this life style and will put up even more resistance to intervention in the future having bested the intervention team previously. Obviously, there are certain risks involved with either approach and should be evaluated clearly before hand. One thing is certain, as long as the addict continues to use, they risk the only one thing they have; their life. The bottom line is that an addict needs to decide, for whatever reason, that they need help. Most " locked down " approaches fail because the addict is
not part of the recovery. The only way an addict can usually fight against the addiction is when enough external pressure is applied to cause them to decide to quit. Many call this "the bottom". However, there can be many bottoms. Obviously some are lower than others, but each can make a person quit drugs. It just depends on what happens when the person is there. For instance a person is facing serious charges and is very scared. The person will either have an intervention and go to treatment or will get through this situation and be back out using. In the final analysis, it is often the family who both spots the incident and uses it to achieve treatment, or misses and waits.
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Handling a loved one with Addiction Problems Part 1

How To Handle A Loved One With An Addiction – Part 1

DRUGREHABADDICTION, ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF ADDICTS

There is no easy way to approach, handle or talk to a loved one struggling with addiction.

If you have an addict in your life, expect it to be difficult, awkward and uncomfortable. There will be good days and bad days, there will be small successes followed by perhaps greater setbacks. You will be pushed to your emotional limit and you will be forced to face your own inability to change a person you love. You will be wholly incapable of making him see that what you want is what’s best for him.

Helping Those Dealing With Addicts

Dealing with addicts isn’t intuitive. We don’t simply discern how to get through to them or how to interact with them based on common sense or reason. While respecting addicts as people, it will help the non-addicts in their midst to understand that reason, good sense, morality and self-preservation are no longer part of a framework within which they operate or a common ground upon which to meet.

But that doesn’t mean we write addicts off as crazy and give up hope. Having been an addict myself, I had a lot of people around me trying to help or cure or fix me in different ways. From the vantage point of recovery, I can now look back and comment on what was helpful and what wasn’t. Even a decade later, I remember how the people around me treated me when I was drowning in the despair of my addiction. While nothing you say will make or break an addict’s chances of recovering, there are ways of communicating and interacting that are harmful and pain-inducing, and there are better, more helpful ways of trying to relate to a person who is indeed quite sick.

What Not To Do When Dealing With An Addict

Guilt Trips

Yes, the addict is making everyone’s life difficult and causing a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. She breaks plans, she fails to keep her commitments, she is unreliable and unpredictable. And guess what: she already knows it. Asking things like, “Do you realize what you are doing to your mother?” or, “Don’t you understand how you are hurting us?” are not helpful. The addict, though selfish in the extreme, is not oblivious to the pain, difficulty and chaos she is bringing into the lives of those around her. But she is not able to stop it. A guilt trip presupposes that the person being guilted is acting deliberately or out of malice. It assumes that he or she has some control over the offending behavior. An addict does not.

Bargaining

You’ll do anything, make any promise, as long as the addict will agree to stop the addiction and get help. But the addict is powerless to take you up on that offer. The addiction is boss. As appealing as your offer might be, it simply isn’t possible. Addicts are known for high-stakes gambling. They gamble their families, their jobs and anything good they can claim. They know what they have to lose and they do it anyway. They don’t do it because they don’t care; they do it because the illness is in fact that powerful and enslaving.

Endless Pleading And Cajoling

This is also known as nagging and it is never helpful or effective. It’s not that the addict doesn’t care, it’s that she cannot stop what she is doing on the basis of your wishes—even if she wanted to. The disease is a lot stronger than that. It’s a lot stronger than she is. In the end, the addict may tell you what you want to hear, but then go back to business as usual. She knows you think there is a problem. You don’t have to continue to restate it.

Implying Fault Or Agency

Loved ones must burn into their minds that both substance and process addictions are not choices that the addict is making. As a result, blaming addicts or implying that they are practicing their addiction simply because they are selfish and unloving is not only incorrect, but cruel. Understand that the addict is in the grip of something much bigger than him or herself. Addiction is an illness like diabetes or cancer. You may hope that addicts will take the appropriate steps to manage the condition, but it is unhelpful to imply that they do what they do on purpose.

Ignoring The Issue

If there is nothing that can be said to make an addict want to seek help, and if the nagging and the pleading are ineffective, does that mean it’s better to say nothing at all? Is it better to ignore the issue, make the best of it or hope it all just goes away? No. Something does indeed need to be said and maybe even done, but the ways in which you speak and act hold the difference between showing genuine love and support, and being a nuisance and a nag.

While your words and expressions of concern may not effect immediate change in the addict’s life, while they may not leave your chat promising to check into treatment, the addict will benefit from the knowledge that you cared enough to say something out of concern and love. Don’t pretend there isn’t a problem.

continue reading Part 2

If you or a loved one is seeking help for 

addiction, give us a call at 1-800-513-5423 

Addictionnomore.com

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5 Myths About Relapse

• POSTED ON JUNE 29, 2015
 
• BY SHELBY HENDRIX
 
• IN RELAPSE PREVENTION
 5 COMMENTS

Misconceptions can be persistent and pervasive. In complicated topics and situations, communication often becomes a game of schoolyard telephone where the final product is garbled. Addiction and relapse are two such complicated topics that are marred by myths.

Unfortunately, myths about relapse can be dangerous and prohibitive.

Here are 5 relapse myths that we need to dispel right away:

 1. Relapse is a single event.

Contrary to popular belief, relapse is a process not always a single event. During that process, there are often warning signs in the recovering person’s attitude and behavior.

A relapse begins long before a person actually returns to drinking. A recovering person will usually start thinking and behaving in the same way they did before, while in the grips of their addiction. They can experience a shift in attitude and decide that recovery just isn’t as important to them as it used to be, or they could start to deny they ever had a drinking problem at all.
Learn the signs of relapse and keep it at bay. Remember why you started this recovery journey in the first place and keep some affirmations handy for when the going gets tough.
Most importantly, when you need help, reach out and get it.

2. Relapse Means Failure

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Recovery is ongoing. If you or someone you know relapses, it is completely possible to get back on the path to recovery.
A relapse cannot destroy all of the hard work you’ve put into recovery thus far. Relapse is not the end of your sobriety journey.
The difficulty of restoring recovery will often depend on how far into the relapse you’ve gotten. If you catch a relapse early enough, you may be able to benefit from a quick turn around. But if you’re deep into a relapse before it’s discovered, you may need to enter or re-enter a treatment facility. No matter the depth of your relapse, you CAN restore your sobriety and get back on the right track.

3. People Who Relapse Just Aren’t Motivated Enough

Conquering addiction requires more than just motivation. Sustaining sobriety takes an enormous amount of willpower and willingness to adapt. But anybody can relapse. And the process can be triggered by things like strong emotions, difficult situations, or tempting environments. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 years into sobriety or 20 days in. Mistakes happen, relapses happen. It has less to do with motivation and more to do with how prepared you are for the worst-case scenario. Relapse is a real threat for everyone, that’s why recovery is a lifelong journey.

4. Someone Who Relapses Just Hasn’t Hit “Bottom” Yet

There is no prerequisite “bottom”. Thinking this way perpetuates the dangerous idea that some people are not yet worthy of treatment.

If you feel like you’re sick enough to seek treatment, then by-golly you’re sick enough to seek treatment!
You don’t owe any particular amount of pain and suffering before you’re worthy of recovery. A relapse is a relapse. Anyone can slip up.
The most important part of relapse is your response. Make sure there are people holding you externally accountable for your recovery. Find support in other people who are seeking sobriety. If you have built a good support structure, people will notice changes in your behavior or if you withdraw. If you’ve prepared them for all possibilities, they will be able to intervene and help you.

5. We Shouldn’t Talk About Relapse

Did I say wrong already? Because this is so crazy wrong!

You know that expression “the best offense is a good defense”? Well it rings true in the addiction world. To avoid relapse, you should know as much about it as possible.
Talking about relapse won’t make it come about anymore than talking about a new car will make one magically appear in your driveway. How will you noticed the warning signs if you don’t even know what they are? Talk about it and talk about it often. Tell the people in your life what a relapse might look like and get them in your corner. Help them help you.
Tune into your mental state and be conscious of your behavior so that you’re able to recognize the signs of relapse. If you start seeing those signs, ask for help, sooner rather than later.

I’m not here to condone relapse. I’m here to tell you recovery is possible no matter what kind of bumps you hit along the way.

Knowledge and honesty will be your best weapons in the fight for sobriety.

Understanding the truth about relapse is the first step to avoiding one.

WRITTEN BY SHELBY HENDRIX

Shelby Hendrix is a blogger from the Northern Midwest with close personal ties to the addiction world. She focuses on the addiction landscape to reach out to those fighting alcoholism and compel them to seek an informed, healthy recovery.

SOURCE

What do you do if the person does not want help?

What do you do if the person does not want help?

   A Free Intervention Can Help  When you have a person in your life that has a problem and they do not want to receive help. Call Us and we can help you locate an intervention specialist that can work with most peoples budgets.

Family interventions that put the family first


Drug and alcohol interventions that are affordable.
Interventions that you may or may not have researched can get to be quite costly if you do not shop around. Most interventionists will not guarantee that they will be able to get your loved one into treatment for his or her addiction. Choosing the right interventionist is very important and pairing the interventionist with the individual that needs the help does help get the desired result which is to get your loved one into the treatment that they need to be happy and whole once again. Our Family interventionists puts the family first as this is the foundation of any successful intervention.


Is there a good time to hold an intervention for a loved one?
When we think of holding an intervention for a loved one there is always the thought in the back of our minds that the individual in question will come to us eventually for help. But in most cases it takes something or several somethings to go adversely wrong for them to want to change. Most addicts when they get to the point where their addiction is out of control  have already distanced themselves from the  family and friends that love them. When you stop feeling loved and supported by friends and family things start to spiral out of control. This is why it is important to act quickly and help them handle the addiction before it becomes to late.
As we watch our loved one become less and less of the person we once knew it becomes apparent that things are not going to change on their own. It is at this point we need to interject our influence and love on the individual to help them facilitate the change that is so greatly needed. We just can't sit around and wait for things to change. It is our responsibility to help them come to the decision to accept help with their addiction.





                   Call Now Our counselors are here to help you

                                            1-800-513-5423





       The Intervention Process.
* Starting with the initial consultation over the phone to one of our Counselors we will start to understand the scope and type of addiction we have to confront. We will also help you with ideas and suggestions on how to handle the addict while we get the intervention put into action.
* Once we have a plan and a place to hold the intervention we will start to contact family, friends, coworkers and anyone else that the person that we are holding the intervention for interacts with on a regular basis these are people that are not using drugs. We need to be careful in the selection of people to be present at the intervention so we can maintain a positive environment, and a positive group.

Intervention family and friends training or commonly known as the (family intervention).
The first step and first day in the intervention process begins with the family intervention. This intervention on the family is where we learn how we are allowing and actually helping our loved one stay addicted to drugs or alcohol. It is in this session that we learn that when we thought we were helping the addict out but actually the only thing we were helping to grow was the addiction. Through this process we will help you learn the actual scope of their addiction and how to best handle the situation to gain the best possible outcome.


Elimination the what IF's
We will help you understand all the main reasons that the addict cannot commit to treatment at this time. It is important to be aware of all the excuses that an addict can use to not change anything in their lives. We will address any and all issues that will put a roadblock in the way of the addict accepting treatment right now. There is never a good time to enter into treatment for addiction and no one plans to have an addiction problem that they need to address. If we wait for a good time, for them to enter treatment, it may be to late.


Intervention Process
Once the loved one arrives they will be greeted with smiles and love, it is important to make them feel loved and be surrounded by family and friends.
* Introductions are made and then the Christian interventionist will bring up the topic of the families concerns and tells them why we are all there and lowers the anxiety of the loved one.
* The intervention starts with stories good and bad and concerns of how things just are not the same anymore. We all just want our loved one back. We need you back. We use the training and the tools that were learned the previous day to get them to agree that treatment is the best option as they start to hear of the consequences if they choose to not enter treatment
*If the loved one is at the point where they are not in agreement for treatment, they will start to realize that all the enabling that has been facilitating their addiction will stop. One by one we pull things away until they realize that they are at the bottom and need help. Everyone has a bottom and at that point we can offer solutions to their problems and get an agreement for help.


The main Reasons that interventions fail.
* Family tries to hold the intervention on their own, without training and help.
* A member of the intervention group is in agreement with the addict.
* Family does not follow through with consequences.
* There is an antagonistic person at the intervention.
* Someone tips off the addict to the intervention.


SOURCE 

12 Step Prayers

Learn more about the Christian 12 Steps HERE

12 Step PrayersThanks to our friend Holly Jo for passing this on to us. These little prayers are great for anyone in AA, Alanon, Alateen or anyone who wants to have a greater understanding of the 12 Step Program, in order to grow closer to their friend or loved one who is in recovery. Enjoy.

~First Step Prayer~
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.

~Second Step Prayer~
Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.

~Third Step Prayer~
(Page 63 – A. A. Big Book)
God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do
Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and
Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always!

~Fourth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a
searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

~Fifth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am,
yet I ask for Your help in admitting my wrongs
to another person and to You. Assure me, and be with me, in this Step,
for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this, and I do it.

~Sixth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character
which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue
being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental
health.

~Seventh Step Prayer~
(Page 76 – A. A. Big Book)
My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen

~Eighth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes, and be forgiving to others as
You are forgiving to me. Grant me the willingness to begin my
restitution.
This I pray.

~Ninth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I pray for the right attitude to make my amends,
being ever mindful not to harm others in the process.
I ask for Your guidance in making indirect amends.
Most important, I will continue to make amends by
staying abstinent, helping others, and growing in spiritual progress.

~Tenth Step Prayer~
I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and
behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher
Power.

~Eleventh Step Prayer~
Higher Power, As I understand You, I pray to keep my connection with
You open and clear from the confusion of daily life.
Through my prayers and meditation I ask especially for
freedom from self-will, rationalization, and wishful thinking.
I pray for the guidance of correct thought and positive action.
Your will Higher Power, not mine, be done.

~Twelfth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
My spiritual awakening continues to unfold.
The help I have received I shall pass on and give to others,
both in and out of the Fellowship. For this opportunity I am grateful.
I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day on
the road of spiritual progress.
I pray for the inner strength and wisdom to practice the principles of
this way of life in all I do and say.

Source

Are you sabotaging your recovery?

Are you sabotaging your recovery?

July 16, 2015 By Katie

(For help with recovery to drugs or alcohol, call us at 1-800-513-5423)

I used to be realllllyyyyy negative. On the outside I was a very polite, kind, and soft spoken girl who was always lifting other people up and encouraging people to go for their dreams, but on the inside I was saying that I was fat, ugly, unlovable, and going to fail at life.

And with that kind of thinking, you can bet your bottom dollar that it’s going to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think everyone hates you, you’re going to subconsciously sabotage all your relationships until you prove yourself right. This has to do with cognitive dissonance, which is when your reality doesn’t match up to your beliefs and so your mind is torn between two or more conflicting beliefs. (Whoa, I didn’t know we were going to learn something here).

Because of cognitive dissonance, if you think you’re a failure, you’re going to start failing at things because your brain wants to prove itself right. This isn’t even done consciously usually, we just subconsciously start to sabotage things in our life. So if you’ve ever started to get better and then you suddenly fall off the wagon, it’s because your brain is subconsciously sabotaging you. (Stop it, brain!)

Another reason we sabotage ourselves is based on Gay Hendricks’s idea that we have “upper limits” to how much happiness, success, love, etc we will accept into our lives. It’s like this quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower:

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

So if you believe you’re not worthy of love, you’re going to sabotage any good thing that comes into your life. For example, if a sweet, friendly guy comes into your life, you’re going to reject him (but in your mind you’ll be like, “Well he’s not really my type,” etc, etc, and make up some excuse) because you believe, deep down, that you don’t deserve to be loved.

Or if you start studying really hard and doing well in all your classes but you still have the belief that you’re not very smart (maybe because when you were little someone told you that you weren’t smart), at some point you’ll probably feel uncomfortable with the success you’re having. Maybe you’ll start thinking that everyone is going to have higher expectations for you now, and then you’ll study a little less and do less well on your tests until you’re back to a level where you are comfortable. You’ve reached your upper limit.

So, you might be wondering what the heck you’re supposed to do when you realize you’re sabotaging yourself. The first step is to just be aware of it. Recognize and identify whatever the particular negative belief is causing the upper limit. For example, if we use the studying example from before, the belief would be that you’re not smart. Once you realize what you’re thinking, it can be helpful to affirm the opposite. So you might affirm, “I am intelligent and capable.” You’re replacing the old negative belief with a new one. It’s not going to fix the problem overnight, but sometimes just being aware that you’re sabotaging yourself is enough to prevent it from continuing. You can do this.

source

DEALING WITH ADDICTIONS IN MARRIAGE

DEALING WITH ADDICTIONS IN MARRIAGE #017

BY JOLENE ENGLE

Addictions in marriage are becoming ever so popular. Whether it’s alcohol, gambling, porn, or video games, which is the topic that I’m addressing today, addictions seem to be rampant in our world today.  We are a culture of unrestraint or we’re easily deceived to think we won’t fall into the addiction trap. I wish this reality weren’t so, but it is.  Perhaps I just hear more about it since I run this on-line space, a place where women feel comfortable opening up and sharing their deepest, darkest secrets?

Here’s one woman’s story…

Dear Jolene,

I have been married to my husband for almost 7 yrs. About 5 yrs. ago my husband became obsessed with a game on his iPhone.  He was constantly playing and would even stay up for days playing it. I was told from a friend that he should be careful with those games because you can spend money on it and it adds up quick. My husband informed me that he wasn’t spending any money. Well 3 months goes by and our car is repossessed because we hadn’t been making payments. Well I started doing research in all our bank accts. including my husband’s business acct. Well long story short, he had spent $5,000 on that game in 3 months. I was devastated. He lied at first, but then quickly turned very apologetic & said he didn’t realize he had spent so much!! He swore he’d never play again! Fast forward 5 yrs. and I have caught him several times playing that same game. But every time I find out, he lies and says he’s not playing until I show him proof. I sat him down today and told him how hurtful his lies have been and told him that I will not accept him playing that game because all it’s done is cause turmoil!! He said if I’d quit snooping and get over it, he wouldn’t have to lie and we wouldn’t have any problems. He said he’s a grown man and he spent a lot of money on that game and that he wasn’t going to throw it all away!! He then stormed out and said that I’m going to ruin this marriage over a game!! So what do I do?? Do I allow him to continue to play that game even though it upsets me? He talks to other females on there, also, and that gives me a sick feeling!!

source 

10 VERSES EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD

I found this blog and wanted to share it with you all (source link on bottom of blog)

If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction and have no where to turn call one of our Christian Counselors today at 1-866-391-6530
http://christian-drug-rehabilitation.com/

The Bible is full of wonderful verses. And every single word is significant and God-breathed across the pages. So where do you start? Here is an awesome top 10:

10 VERSES EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD KNOW BY HEART

#1  John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

This verse is the Who, What, Why, and How of the Bible. It’s the whole purpose of God’s Word wrapped in a few words. Every Christian should have these words stitched within their memory as a reminder that He loves us and as an opportunity to share His love with everyone else.

10-bible-verses-every-christian

#2 and #3   2Timothy 3:16-17

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

If you don’t believe this passage, then why waste your time with any other verse? As Christians we must believe every word of God’s Word as HIS Word. If not, the whole thing falls apart. Christians can’t pick and choose the parts they want to believe or even the parts they want to follow and toss the rest to the wind. ALL Scripture is God inspired. His Word is complete Truth and will remain forever.

You’ve probably noticed I count this passage as 2 verses–not because they should be separated, but as a way to easily chunk and memorize if using Scripture Memory Cards.

Known as the Romans Road, the next 4 verses are vital because they map out the plan of salvation. Christians use these verses first, for their own steps toward salvation and then as a tool to help lead others to Christ. Each verse provides a specific step in the Salvation Plan.

#4  Romans 3:23

(Who is in need of Salvation?)
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

#5  Romans 6:23

(Why do we need Salvation?)
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

#6  Romans 5:8

(What did God provide as our only source of Salvation?)
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”

#7  Romans 10:9

(How are we Saved?)
“that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Some add a few other verses to the Romans Road. However, these 4 are the basic steps and are a great starting point when leading the lost who are searching for hope.

#8  1John 1:9

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

When we realize the wonderful gift of God’s plan to save us, we realize just how unworthy we are to receive it. This verse helps us fight off worries, doubts, or any thoughts about our past to fully embrace and celebrate God’s promise to save us. Taking hold of this scripture reminds us that, even though we are unworthy, God keeps His word and forgives us when we confess our sins to Him.

#9 John 14:6

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'”

Just as the enemy tries to keep us bound to our past, he will also try to convince us to follow anything and everything else to keep us from following Jesus. With so many theologies, false teachings, etc., it is important for us to remember this verse. John 14:6 is the verse we hold up to any other teachings. Jesus Christ is our center. We base everything on His Word, His teachings, and His sacrifice.

#10  Psalm 119:11

“Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.”

This verse reminds us to keep ourselves focused on His Word to keep us from–well, anything that hinders, hurts, or keeps us from the victorious life God has planned.

Though there are countless scriptures to recommend, these 10 verses are a great place to start.

Source

What is the relationship between the twelve step program and Christianity?

What is the relationship between the twelve step program and Christianity?

The Christian twelve steps are the same steps as their secular counterpart but the difference between the two are like night and day. Although secular twelve steps do work for some, the Biblical twelve step program has one huge advantage. When you put God in your corner, you have the help you need when it seems that all is lost. Being able to lean on Him and have Him take the weight that has been crushing our mind body and spirit really makes a difference in our life.

The twelve steps were developed by Alcoholics Anonymous and has become the most commonly used model for the treatment of addictions, and other compulsions. The main purpose of the twelve steps is to help people with drug and alcohol addictions but not excluding eating, gambling, sex, internet, and porn addictions. 

There were many sources that influenced the foundations of the AA program, started and recorded by Bill W. and Doctor Bob. The Oxford Group movement in the UK and the American Leader Clergyman, Samuel Moor Shoemaker, Jr. started the Christian basis of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This oxford group came to the conclusion that there are 6 basic assumptions that need to be worked in order to gain sobriety.

1. Humans are sinners.

2. We can be changed

3. In order to change we need to confess our sins and misgivings

4. Once the soul has changed only at this point can we have direct access to God

5. The age of miracles has returned

6. Once you are changed you need to pass the message onto others and help change them.

Source psychology of social movements 

Wilson also added 5 procedures which are:

1 . Giving to God

2. Listing to Gods directions

3. Checking guidance

4. Restitution or making up of damages

5. Sharing in both confession and as a witness to others

The  twelve steps have been adapted for Christians and listed below are the corresponding biblical verses that support each step. 

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our separation from God—that our lives had become unmanageable.

“I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (ROMANS 7:18)

Step Two: Come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (PHILIPPIANS 2:13)

Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—which is your spiritual worship.” (ROMANS 12:1)

Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (LAMENTATIONS 3:40)

Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (JAMES 5:16)

Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (JAMES 4:10)

Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 JOHN 1:9)

Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (LUKE 6:31)

Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.” (MATTHEW 5:23-24)

Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.” (1 CORINTHIANS 10:12)

Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” (COLOSSIANS 3:16)

Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (GALATIANS 6:1)

All information about the twelve step program is provided by AA and it’s affiliates and is in no way a substitute for going through a treatment center or seeking medical help for addiction to drugs or alcohol. The description and writings of how the christian 12 step program is paraphrased and edited to give a synopsis of how the program was started. for further information please contact AA or NA and they will be able to give you the exact reference for the information provided.

For more information on the Christian Twelve-Steps and a list of 12-step programs in your area, give us a call at
1-866-391-6530. 

http://christian-drug-rehabilitation.com/christian-twelve-step-programs/