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Let Us Help You Find the Best Rehab and Reclaim Your Life

At Addiction No More, we strive to help people find the best drug rehab centers around the country. People that complete inpatient treatment have a significantly better chance of remaining abstinent from drugs or alcohol. Long term drug rehab centers that last for 60 to 90 days, give the best success rates for the long time drug or alcohol abuser. When looking for a drug rehab, be sure to look outside of your area as well as locating a drug rehab near you. This will give you better choices for treatment and help you find an affordable inpatient drug rehab. You can call us toll free at 1-800-819-9973 for more information. We are ready to take your call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week..

Friday, July 31, 2015

What is the relationship between the twelve step program and Christianity?

12 step rehabs in my state

What is the relationship between the twelve step program and Christianity?
The Christian twelve steps are the same steps as their secular counterpart but the difference between the two are like night and day. Although secular twelve steps do work for some, the Biblical twelve step program has one huge advantage. When you put God in your corner, you have the help you need when it seems that all is lost. Being able to lean on Him and have Him take the weight that has been crushing our mind body and spirit really makes a difference in our life.
The twelve steps were developed by Alcoholics Anonymous and has become the most commonly used model for the treatment of addictions, and other compulsions. The main purpose of the twelve steps is to help people with drug and alcohol addictions but not excluding eating, gambling, sex, internet, and porn addictions. 
There were many sources that influenced the foundations of the AA program, started and recorded by Bill W. and Doctor Bob. The Oxford Group movement in the UK and the American Leader Clergyman, Samuel Moor Shoemaker, Jr. started the Christian basis of Alcoholics Anonymous.
This oxford group came to the conclusion that there are 6 basic assumptions that need to be worked in order to gain sobriety.
1. Humans are sinners.
2. We can be changed
3. In order to change we need to confess our sins and misgivings
4. Once the soul has changed only at this point can we have direct access to God
5. The age of miracles has returned
6. Once you are changed you need to pass the message onto others and help change them.
Source psychology of social movements 
Wilson also added 5 procedures which are:
1 . Giving to God
2. Listing to Gods directions
3. Checking guidance
4. Restitution or making up of damages
5. Sharing in both confession and as a witness to others

The  twelve steps have been adapted for Christians and listed below are the corresponding biblical verses that support each step. 
Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our separation from God—that our lives had become unmanageable.
“I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (ROMANS 7:18)
Step Two: Come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (PHILIPPIANS 2:13)
Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—which is your spiritual worship.” (ROMANS 12:1)
Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (LAMENTATIONS 3:40)
Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (JAMES 5:16)
Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (JAMES 4:10)
Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 JOHN 1:9)
Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (LUKE 6:31)
Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.” (MATTHEW 5:23-24)
Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.” (1 CORINTHIANS 10:12)
Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” (COLOSSIANS 3:16)
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (GALATIANS 6:1)

All information about the twelve step program is provided by AA and it’s affiliates and is in no way a substitute for going through a treatment center or seeking medical help for addiction to drugs or alcohol. The description and writings of how the christian 12 step program is paraphrased and edited to give a synopsis of how the program was started. for further information please contact AA or NA and they will be able to give you the exact reference for the information provided.

For more information on the Christian Twelve-Steps and a list of 12-step programs in your area, give us a call at


Thursday, July 30, 2015

Addiction No More

                       Addiction No More

Addiction No More is a free service which  provides referrals to residential treatment centers and detox facilities across the country. Our organization offers these services free to the public. Chemical Dependency Treatment professionals stress the importance of long term exposure to recovery oriented activities. For one to achieve long-term sobriety it is important to get the right treatment. If the right treatment is not received the result is that all too often the addict may return to social alcohol and or drug use.

 Finding a good treatment program for addiction can be a very long, and complicated process, but with our help, we can help your or your loved one overcome addiction for good. 

Call 1-800-513-5423 today to speak with a certified counselor. We can help you find treatment in your state, or anywhere you would like to go. www.addictionnomore.com 1-800-513-5423 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Do I Need Drug Rehab?

do i need help with addiction

Do I Need Drug Rehab?

Very few people have the clarity of mind to discern the difference between recreational drug and alcohol use to abuse or addiction. Learning to recognize the signs that drug use has turned into drug abuse or alcohol abuse and addiction can be a wake up call for anyone and a start on  the road to recovery.

  • Needing more and more of the same drug to experience the same euphoric feelings.
  • Starting to feel symptoms of withdrawal, sleep patterns changed, nausea, sweats, shaking, and depression when trying to stop the usage of drugs or alcohol.
  • Unable to control the amount and frequency of the Drug usage.
  • Attempting to cut back and stop drug use without success.
  • starting to engage in risky behavior. 
  • Hobbies and interests fall to the waste side as addiction takes hold.
  • Not able to have any sort of fun without the usage of drugs or alcohol.
Recovery is not something that you should have to do on your own.
Some people that start to see that addiction is taking hold of their lives believe that they can handle it and quit on their own. This can often times delay the addict from getting the help they need. The more failures someone has, the harder it is to see that there is a solution that will work. Starting to recognize that we are powerless over addiction and need help to recover, are the first steps in the recovery process.
Recovery Begins With Christian Drug Rehab
For those addicted to drugs or alcohol, the detox can be the first step in their programs. Being addicted physically as well as mentally is the main reason that some continue to use their substance of choice. The sickness and discomfort of withdrawal is often times too painful for someone to want to stop using. With the new drugs specifically designed to help people with painful withdrawal symptoms, going through detox can be a painless process.

Entering into a program is more than just detox. Those who only seek help through a detox program are more likely to return to their drug or alcohol abuse. Detox is only to equip the addict with the tools necessary for long lasting sobriety. The real program starts in a drug rehab center, this can take weeks or even month to achieve, with the guidance and coaching from christian therapists and counselors.

Call today to speak with a counselor about Drug or Alcohol Rehabilitation Centers in your area. 1-866-391-6530 christian-drug-rehabilitation.com

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Pot Addiction

 Pot  Addiction

Call 1-800-513-5423 today to speak with a counselor about rehab for pot addiction.

Marijuana is the most used illegal drug in the United States. Nearly 69 million Americans over the age of 12 have tried marijuana at least once.

Marijuana is California's largest cash crop.

Today's marijuana is 10 to 15 times stronger than it was in the 60's

Reaction time for motor skills, such as driving is reduced by 41% after smoking 1 joint and is reduced 63% after smoking 2 joints.

There have been over 7,000 published scientific and medical studies documenting the damage that marijuana poses. Not one study has shown marijuana to be safe.

Data has shown that people high on marijuana show the same lack of coordination on standard "drunk driver" tests as do people who have had to much to drink.

The daily use of 1 to 3 marijuana joints can produce the same lung damage and potential cancer risk as smoking five times as many cigarettes.

Marijuana is the second most common drug, after alcohol, present in the blood stream of non-fatally and fatally injured persons.

Among teens 12 to 17, the average age of first trying marijuana was 14 years old.

A yearly survey of students in grades 8 to 12 shows that 23% of 8th graders have tried marijuana at least once and by tenth grade, 21% are "current" users. Among 12th graders, nearly 50% have tried marijuana at least once, and about 24% were current users.

Marijuana is a complex material containing 421 chemicals, 60 of which are only found in marijuana

33.6% of students listed to have used marijuana in the last year and 20% were listed to have used in the last month.

75% of drug-related criminal charges are connected to marijuana.

65% of people arrested for marijuana related crimes are for simple possession.

Approximately 50,000 Canadians are arrested each year for marijuana related crimes.

600,000 Canadians have a criminal record for simple possession of marijuana.

Estimates put the value of the marijuana industry to the British Columbia Economy at anywhere between $2 billion and $10 billion, making it one of British Colombia's top three industries.



Monday, July 20, 2015

Open Your Heart To God

If you look inside and listen to your heart you will know something is not right. You can feel that there is a separation from those who love you beginning to happen. You can feel loneliness starting to fill your heart as you distance yourself from God. But there is hope. 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
When your heart starts to fill with the loneliness that addiction to drugs or alcohol brings and you start to feel like your heart is turning cold, your heart will try and lead you back to your faith in God. We just have to listen to the still, small voice inside. 
Drugs and alcohol start to separate you from the people and things that are positive and good for you; not only from God and Church, but also family and friends that want to see you walk in the right path that God has laid out for you. As addiction starts to progress we tend to start to surround ourselves with people and places that support a lifestyle that is not conducive to survival as a Christian. Our friends start to change and our priorities are skewed by the addiction that has been allowed to take hold of our lives. You start to feel the loneliness as you distance yourself from God. In the beginning, you may feel the need to drink or use more drugs to compensate for the emptiness in your heart. This will fill the void for the time being but as soon as the affects of the drugs or alcohol wear off, the emptiness will return and you may feel even deeper despair and loneliness.

If you have found yourself here looking for help, you have heard the messages that God has sent your heart. Drugs and alcohol have failed to bring you the peace that you once had before addiction had a hold on your life. No matter how hard you try to drown out the loneliness and pain, that addiction has brought, the pain comes back even harder than before and depression starts to come back with a vengeance.

The only way that you will ever have true peace and happiness, is through recovery. Doing this alone, is very hard and the pitfalls are many. God is with you to help take some of the burden off of you. He will put people in your life to help you overcome this addiction to drugs or alcohol. 
Always listen to your heart. Find help today and start back on the path to recovery. Call us now 1-800-513-5423

Sunday, July 19, 2015

22 Things Meth Addicts Won’t Tell You About their Addiction

For help with meth addiction 

call 1-800-513-5423 

22 Things Meth Addicts Won’t Tell You About their Addiction

Methamphetamine is a terrible drug, and the effects it has on people are very strong. Once addicted, it becomes normal for a person to lie about or minimize their drug use and its effects.
  1. Many meth addicts suffer from skin issues and infections. Acne is common in chronic abusers of meth, and many individuals who abuse the drug regularly will get painful-looking sores all over their body and face. This can often occur because the individual is picking at their skin, a sign that they are experiencing a meth-induced hallucination called crank bugs.
  2. According to CESAR, “Methamphetamine abuse can cause insomnia, anxiety, and violent or psychotic behavior. If this type of behavior is not typical for that person, he or she may have a drug problem.” Meth addicts will often not want to discuss the reason for this type of behavior.
  3. Many people understand that “severe dental problems (‘meth mouth’)” are a sign of the abuse of the drug, but most do not realize why (NIDA). For the most part, meth mouth occurs as a result of severe jaw clenching when the individual is high. This can actually cause teeth to crack and decay.
  4. There is a high correlation of meth abusers who are also HIV positive (from unsafe sex or sharing needles). According to the NIDA, “Methamphetamine use may actually worsen the progression of HIV/AIDS and its consequences,” as “HIV causes more injury to neurons and greater cognitive impairment in individuals who are HIV-positive and use methamphetamine.”
  5. Many meth addicts like the way they feel on meth. The drug has extreme effects, and a large number of individuals who abuse it have become tolerant in the past to less intense drugs. However, a meth high can turn on an individual very quickly, from euphoria to irritability, paranoia, and even aggression and violence.
  6. Seizures are possible when a person has been abusing a large amount of the drug. These seizures can actually be very dangerous and be a part of the sudden death syndrome that meth sometimes causes.
    meth abuse
    Meth users often lie about how often they use the drug and what it does to them.
  7. As stated by CESAR, someone who has been on meth for a prolonged amount of time (usually 3-15 days) is called a tweaker.In this state, a meth addict is very volatile and possibly dangerous. However, “a tweaker can appear normal.” They will often be well-spoken and clear eyed. This can make them harder to identify.
  8. There are ways to tell if someone is tweaking though. Eyes that move extremely fast and a slight quiver to the voice are noticeable if you pay attention. A tweaker will also move very quickly and jerkily which might become more obvious and frantic the longer they abuse the drug.
  9. Meth can cause homicidal and suicidal tendencies in chronic abusers, which is why there are so many crimes associated with meth abuse. Someone who is addicted to the drug will likely try to hide these issues because they do not want to stop abusing the drug.
  10. Dry mouth is one of the most common symptoms of meth intoxication. Someone who does not want you to know that they are abusing meth will likely carry a water bottle or chew gum to try to offset this.
  11. Meth abuse can cause extreme weight loss to the point of malnutrition and its consequences. If someone you know has suddenly dropped an extreme amount of weight and seems unhealthy, it may be a sign of meth addiction.
  12. According to the NCSACW, meth addicts, as compared to cocaine addicts, are “less likely to use alcohol” in addition to meth but also “have a higher frequency of use.” They are often younger when they start out as well and “are more likely to be female and Caucasian.”
  13. Smoking crystal meth and dissolving the drug in water and injecting it are two of the most common ways the drug is abused. According to the NIDA, “Smoking or injecting the drug delivers it very quickly to the brain,” making a person even more likely to become addicted.
  14. Methamphetamine can be prescribed by doctors as a treatment for ADHD, but meth addicts are not normally abusing this type of the drug. Methamphetamine is also very rarely prescribed to treat anyone because of the addictive nature of the drug, so if someone is severely addicted to meth, it is unlikely that the drug was prescribed.
  15. There is not a large amount of information about what issues meth can cause during pregnancy, but “the available research points to increased rates of premature delivery, placental abruption… and various effects on babies prenatally exposed to methamphetamine, including small size, lethargy, and heart and brain abnormalities” (NIDA).
  16. “Methamphetamine users, like other drug users, are more likely than non-users to have experienced physical or sexual abuse as children” (NCSACW). This can also be highly dangerous to the children of meth addicts who are also more likely to be abused by the meth-addicted parent.
  17. Many meth addicts experience a severe amount of unfavorable changes to the brain that affect the individual’s emotional responses and memory capabilities. These issues can actually persist even after the individual attends treatment.
  18. As a part of the schizophrenia-like psychosis that often occurs in long-term meth abusers, self-absorption is common, often to the point where the individual is unable to see beyond getting their next fix or beyond themselves entirely.
  19. Someone currently intoxicated by meth may give themselves away with a little-known sign of abuse. According to CESAR, “performing repetitive, meaningless tasks” is a short-term effect of meth intoxication that is easily noticeable.
  20. The production of meth is actually extremely dangerous as many people know and can result in a fire or explosion. Also the hazardous chemicals which are used can produce toxicity that “can remain in the environment around a methamphetamine production lab long after the lab has been shut down, causing a wide range of health problems for people living in the area” (NIDA 1).
  21. Meth abuse and addiction can cause damage to nearly all of a person’s organs, including the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, brain, and more.
  22. Depression is common in meth abusers who are coming down from the drug. This is one of the reasons why meth abusers will continue to take more and more of the drug, binging on its effects in order to avoid the severe depressive result after the high wears off.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

What is Co-Dependency

What is Co-Dependency 

Codependency is an unhealthy form of love. It is where my need to take care of you compromises or harms my quality of life. Although it’s usually seen in romantic partnerships, it can occur in any relationship, including family, friends or peers. Characteristics of codependency include: 1. I feel good about myself when you like and approve of me. 2. Your problems and concerns disturb my peace of mind. 3. A lot of my mental energy is focused on helping and rescuing you (either solving your problems or relieving your pain). 4. A lot of my mental energy is diverted into protecting you. 5. I spend a lot of time and energy trying to get you to do it my way (ie. Being manipulative). 6. My self-esteem is boosted by solving your problems or helping to relieve your pain. 7. I set aside my own interests, hobbies and goals as I’d rather spend my time doing what interests you. 8. I feel how you look, how you behave, and what you achieve (or do not achieve) reflects on me – and is a judgment of me. 9. I’ve lost touch with feelings as I’m totally consumed with how you feel, and how your feelings are changing. 10. I don’t really know what I want any more – as I’m so wrapped up in you, and what you want. 11. The hopes and dreams for the future are all tied to you. 12. My fear of rejection or abandonment by you determines how I act and what I say.
13. My fear of upsetting or making you mad determines how I act and what I say.
14. I use giving as a way to feel safe and secure in my relationship with you. 15. My friends and social circle gets smaller and smaller as I involve myself more and more with you. 16. I value your opinions more than my own opinions, and am willing to sacrifice my personal values to be accepted and valued by you.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The 10 giveaway signs of a toxic person – and how to handle them

The 10 giveaway signs of a toxic person – and how to handle them 

Toxic people are everywhere – they’re hiding at work, in baby groups, in cafes, even in your own family – just waiting to cause havoc in your life. But how can you spot a toxic person? And how do you minimize their damage?

We’ve all come across them at one point or another in our lives. The colleague who seems to have it in for you, the friend who always has a drama they want to involve you in, the difficult neighbour, or the family member who wears you out every time you see or speak to them.

What all these people have in common is toxicity – they are unpleasant, draining and just hard to spend time with. Like a poison, they do nothing to enrich your life and career, or make it any easier or more successful.

It’s important to protect yourself from toxic people

In fact they usually do the opposite. They suck the joy out of work, drag out assignments unnecessarily, play political games, give you the run around as clients and make awkward, hard-to-please customers.

Like many things in life, being forewarned that someone is potentially a toxic person to deal with is forearmed. You can prepare strategies to deal with them, or minimise your contact with them.

It also enables you to protect yourself where necessary. Knowing someone may probably be picky and even underhand, you can ensure you follow all procedures to the official letter, get back up in where necessary and make sure you get every instruction or agreement in writing.

The 10 giveaway signs of a toxic person

So just how do you spot a toxic person? Luckily there are a number of easy-to-spot signs that, when you’re aware of them, enable you to pick them out a mile off.

1) They’re selfish

Toxic people are so busy thinking of themselves that they’ll rarely show any concern for others. Their communication setting is usually stuck on broadcast and they’ll happily talk for hours about themselves without being interested enough to spare one question for you.

And it’s not just their conversation. Toxic people genuinely have no concern for your feelings, and feel no need to take them into consideration. And worryingly, this often demonstrates itself in control. They care about how they feel, what they want to do, what their needs are, and will happily manipulate you to ensure they’re met.

In a friendship, this could mean asking you to babysit their children even if it’s not convenient for you, expecting you to change your plans to meet them, or putting you down by criticizing your looks, personality or mothering skills.

In the workplace, a toxic person may demand that you work late, knowing you need to collect your child from nursery, they’ll present you with an urgent project just before lunch, or prevent you from getting a promotion because they need you in their department.

If you recognize that someone is trying to control you, it’s not worth appealing to their better nature, because the chances are they don’t have one! All you can do is try to minimize your exposure to them and move on as quickly as possible.

2) They need to be right

Toxic people are so thin-skinned that they can’t stand the thought they might ever be wrong. It doesn’t matter how tiny the issue, they’ll argue their point of view until you give up out of exhaustion. What you may think, feel or believe (or in fact what IS the truth) doesn’t matter.

Their need to be right trumps common sense, truth and even normal social bounds. They’ll pursue an issue until it’s conceded that they are in fact right. They’ll even happily take their fight to the legal system, incurring huge costs and a waste of time, often over very trivial matters – even suing neighbors over inches of land or the height of boundary hedges.

So if you ever cross or publicly doubt a toxic person, be prepared for a fight. They’re determined, bitter and underhand adversaries. And in their quest to be seen as right, they’re happy to lie, fabricate and misdirect.

3) They’re surrounded by drama

Ever met someone that bad things always happen to? Their flat gets burgled, they get food poisoning at their own wedding, their best friend runs off with their husband, their favorite dress is lost by the dry cleaner… it can seem that some people are just so unlucky.

Or are they? Could it be that their psyche is defined by the bad things that happen to them? Or that they enjoy the attention and sympathy they get from them? Perhaps they have had some truly unlucky experiences, but maybe others are over dramatized, or somehow brought about by a lack of care – or even from attracting drama through negative visualization?

Whatever the reason, you’ll often find that a toxic person thrives on drama, and will dwell excessively on any negative experience that befalls them – cementing their victim hood and sucking the positive energy from those around them.

4) They lie

Most of us have found ourselves telling a white lie at some point in our lives, but if you discover that someone is deliberately misleading you, withholding or twisting information, or just downright lying, then watch out! If they’re comfortable with telling small lies, then you won’t know when to trust anything they say.

And as we’ve already mentioned, a toxic person is happy to twist, obscure and reinvent the truth to hide or pursue their other personality flaws.

5) They’re too eager

Relationships take time to build, and an emotionally healthy person recognizes that you need space. So if you meet someone who seems in a haste to get to know you or start a business relationship with you, or who makes you feel pressured or smothered, run a mile.

Not anticipating or appreciating the feelings or needs of another is a big warning sign of a selfish person, and even possibly a narcissist. And if they’re ignoring your requests or not getting the hint early on in your relationship, it doesn’t bode well later on when you’re bound to them through contracts or friendship.

6) They’re always the victim

Some people always have someone else to blame for their problems:

They didn’t meet their deadline because their manager didn’t remind them about it.
They’re hungover today because they worked too late on your project to eat.
They missed the early morning meeting because their wife forgot to set their alarm.
They didn’t book a doctor’s appointment because you didn’t give them the number.
They missed a promotion because their mum didn’t insist they take French A’Level.
Bad things and unavoidable accidents happen to all of us sometimes – that’s life. But some people are happy blaming everyone else for their problems, including those they should take personal responsibility for. So the chances are, whatever happens to them it will be someone else’s fault – including yours.

7) They never have a nice word to say about others

It’s easy to find things about pretty much everyone that annoy us (just as others can easily find faults in us). But most of us have far more good points than bad, and it’s not difficult to focus on these.

Unless of course you’re a toxic person. There’s a fine line between harmless gossip and bitching, and a toxic person is happy to cross it – they rarely have a good word to say about anyone.

So if you ever come across someone who is happy, even gleeful, to run other people down, be careful. Don’t allow their words to inform your opinion, and watch what you say about others. The chances are that they’re saying just as spiteful things about you when your back is turned!

8) They don’t let go

Bad things and people happen to all of us. And when they do we go through all the normal emotions – anger, blame, questioning, grief etc. Then we move on to more positive times.

Or at least we do if we’re not a toxic person. Toxic people thrive on drama and negativity, and relish the attention they get from it. So much as they may rail and moan about their misfortune, deep down they love it – even need it.

A truly awful experience that is not their fault is like gold dust to a toxic person, so why should they want to move past it? Instead they’ll drag it up at any given opportunity, depressing everyone they come into contact with. So beware!

9) They’re evasive

Most people are quite straightforward. You ask them a question, and they’ll give you the answer. But not a toxic person. They thrive on attention and drama, and will happily lie at will. They also find strength in destabilizing others. Unable to operate on a level playing field, they tilt, twist and muddle the truth until no one is sure what’s going on.

They use this tactic to control meetings and cover up their deficiencies. They’re also adept political creatures who know just how to manipulate a situation to their advantage – and sabotage anyone who is in their way.

So if you ever come across anyone who seems unable to give you a straight answer, who makes the most straightforward project seem convoluted, who hogs and sabotages every meeting, or who changes the subject whenever you ask for something, the chances are they’re toxic.

10) They’re not nice to others

Don’t get us wrong, toxic people can be very charming. But only when it serves them. If you’re useful to them or they want something from you, they may be lovely, flattering even. Their attentions can seem heady and overwhelming. But it’s all a show.

The clearest way to get a sense of someone’s real character is to watch how they treat others, especially people who aren’t useful to them, and never will be.

How nice are they to the guy that works in the station ticket office? To the postman? The waitress in the cafĂ© you sometimes go to for lunch? Junior colleagues? Other peoples’ children?

If you want to find out whether someone may be toxic or not, just observe their relationships with people who mean nothing to them, and watch how polite, kind or thoughtful they are (or not). It’s a good measure of how they may one day treat you if you cease to be useful!

How to handle toxic people

So what do you do if you have a toxic person in your life? The last thing you want to do is to go down to their level, but you do need to learn to protect yourself. Here are some tips:

Know your boundaries and stick to them – don’t let a toxic person erode your boundaries for their own gain. Work out what is important to you and make sure you don’t budge on it.
Keep a record of anything decided – as we recommend in our article on how to handle a difficult client, make sure you protect yourself from toxic colleagues, bosses or customers. If anything is discussed or agreed verbally, follow it up with an email confirmation, and invite correction if anything is wrong. This will help to prevent or expose lying later on.
Be polite and honest – just because someone else is rude or deceitful doesn’t mean you have an excuse to be. Ensure you always act by your own standards, and let others see toxic people for what they are.
Don’t share confidences with them – expect that anything you say to a toxic person will be repeated in a negative way, so be careful what you share with them. Never gossip about colleagues, clients or friends, or share a secret that you wouldn’t mind your worst enemy knowing.
Avoid being a shoulder to cry on. So when you spend hours listening to a toxic person moan about everything that has gone wrong or the people who have betrayed them, all that is going to happen is that you’ll feel depressed! Nothing you can say will cheer up a toxic person – they enjoy being a victim. Save your energies for those who genuinely deserve them, or who make you feel better, not worse.
Be firm – toxic people want their own way at any cost. So you’ll need to stand your ground when dealing with them. If you’re not giving them them what they want, they’ll try all kinds of underhand and emotionally manipulating tactics to get it. So be prepared and be firm.
Do you work with toxic colleagues? Learn how to spot the five most common types and how to handle them to minimize their damage!

What are your tips for dealing with toxic people?

How do you cope with toxic people in your life? Do you have any strategies or experiences to share? We’d love to hear them. Please let us know in comments.